SPEAKER_00 0:00

Practice makes perfect. Yeah. Just like with any skill, I feel like encouragement is a muscle that we can develop and we can get stronger with over time. And so if it's a struggle for you, if you if this is something that you want to grow in, you want to be known as somebody that encourages other ladies and encourages the people in your life, I'd say start small and allow it to become automatic over time. Because the more you do it, the more you use that muscle, the stronger it's gonna get team.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

Welcome to Team Not Tired. I'm Shereen Crawford and I'm Ashley Earwood, and we are jumping into a new episode. Ashley, we are talking about the power of encouragement. Tell me more.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

Have you ever run a race before? Yes. Yeah, you have. I'm I'm not a runner, but I hear that when people run, you know, half marathons and marathons, and I have friends that are runners, and I see them take those gels with them.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

What are they called? What are they called? Well, it depends, but most of them are like a lot of like gosh, what's the word? I'm like blatantly. They're like energy gels.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Yeah, they're energy gels or they're electrolytes. Yes, electrolytes. And so I feel like encouragement is like electrolyte gel when you're running your race. It's that thing that you kind of need and can help you get over the hump to keep going. Yeah. And so for those of us that are trying to just stay in our lane and stay in the race and not give up and not grow tired, I feel like encouragement is just that powerful tool that we have as believers to help one another. And so often, though, we don't realize how impactful our words can be to help or to hurt. And I was reminded of this just last week. I sent a friend of mine, I had seen something she had posted on social media, and it just made me think of her and her family and how proud I was of her as a friend. And so I got a Marco Polo and I just sent her something real quick, didn't really think about it. And she messaged me back a couple days later, and I could really tell that my encouragement meant something to her. Right. And she was telling me of just how impactful it was. And I didn't, I didn't think twice about it. I don't even remember what I said, but it kind of stopped me in my tracks and reminded me, oh man, like my words carry weight. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

As a leader, as a pastor, as a friend. Yes, absolutely. Our words carry weight. We we often underestimate the power of our words. And it made me think of Proverbs 18, 21, where it says, the tongue has the power of life and death. And I love the message version. And I I talk about it with my kids all the time. The message version says, Words kill, words give life. Yes. They're either poison or fruit. Yeah. You choose. And so we're invited into this choosing of how to use our mouths, how to use our words, how to use our tongue to bring life or death to the people around us. And so I just want us to be women at Team Not Tired that choose to bring life, that are known for bringing life through our words to the people around us. Because sometimes what you have to say is exactly what someone else needs to keep going.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

Yeah, because I I have ran a race. And let me tell you, no moss. But I have found that being faithful is hard, right? When you're just like, I I'm tired, I don't really have to do this, but I'm I'm called to run this race. When someone gives you that word of encouragement, when you're at your let's say your last wit end, yeah. It it does. It does give you that that jolt of electrolytes to just keep going for a little bit longer.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Yeah. That's why that's why I think it's so important for us to become really good at encouragement. It's a spiritual gift. Some people really just have the gift, but it's it's accessible and available to all of us. And all of us should carry just that gift and spirit of encouragement as believers, because you don't know the tired mom that just needs to feel seen. You don't know that unseen volunteer on your team that's had a rough week and is struggling and really didn't want to show up. You don't know the leader or the pastor or your boss that's like wondering if they're having any kind of impact or if they're really making a difference.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

Right.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

You don't know the friend who might be quietly struggling and you know, carrying a lot of things privately that she's not sharing with anybody. And so I think that's why we have to overcome the things that keep us from being good encouragers so that we can bring life to the people around us. I say a lot that leaders often hear what's wrong and not what's right. Right. That's true. Mothers often hear all the complaints. The complaints, the discipline, the the things that are going wrong. There's there's so much of motherhood that feels unseen and uncelebrated. And just women, we've we've talked about it on this episode. Women carry a lot silently. We carry a lot behind the scenes mentally. And this is why we need to be encouragement to one another.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Because you don't know what somebody else is walking through.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

And and that verse is not a qualifier if you are a leader. It just says your words can carry life or death, regardless of whatever title you have. And so we're all called to be responsible to bring life. Hopefully, we're all bringing life. And so, how would you share or or help us kind of exercise? Because some of us it it doesn't come natural, and we all know those negative Nancy's that all that comes out of their mouth is the negative part, especially if like you mentioned, especially being a leader. That's the first thing we hear, or we're here to remove obstacles and stuff like that. But let's flip it and say, how how can I utilize my words to really bring encouragement?

SPEAKER_00 8:00

So well, I think First Thessalonians covers it really well. In chapter five, the writer says, encourage one another and build each other. And so it's it's this act of using our words to build one another up, not tear one another down. And so there's a lot of practical things that I think we can talk about as to how we can become great encouragers and operate in the power of encouragement. But I want to talk first, though, about the shadow side. Yeah. Because everything has a shadow side. Right. And there is a real trap, I think, particularly with women, where when we talk about encouragement, when we talk about edifying one another, when we talk about building each other up, we're not talking about living on affirmation. Very different, very different. And there are so many of us that our attitudes, our behaviors, our actions are so willy-nilly up and down based on whether we're getting affirmation, based on whether we're getting accolades, based on whether we're feeling seen or unseen. And we've got to rise above that. We can't live for encouragement and affirmation. We're living for the approval of one.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

Right. An audience of one full stop.

unknown 9:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

And so before we talk about the importance of encouragement, I also just have to say, like, we can't be women who judge our success or our obedience on whether people are cheering, on whether you're being recognized. I real talk, I've I've been preaching for about a decade now. And when I first started speaking publicly on a regular basis, I really judged whether it was quote unquote good or effective based on how much feedback I got from people. And that was really naive, but that's just the reality of growing and getting reps in, right? And now I'm in a place where I mean encouragement is nice, compliments are nice, but I'm not living for them. And it doesn't dictate whether that sermon was obedient to what God put in my heart.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

I'm not judging whether it was good or bad, effective or not, based on how many people I hear from.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

Yeah, because you're right, it it is fickle. Our emotions can be fickled, our ego can be fed. And there is a dark side to especially when you're so visible, right? And you're doing, you know, practic like sermons and you're on the stage and all of those things. I think the best compliment of or encouragement is that helps me that sermon helps me become more like Jesus. Absolutely. But sometimes it's like, you looked really cute on stage.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

And I'm never gonna turn that down either. I mean, that's nice to hear, but you know what I'm saying. Yeah, there's there's a difference between being encouraged by someone and then living for the affirmation of others. And I don't want us to get that confused because those are different things. And I think about a lot of hard moments as a young mom, and you know, even complaining to my husband of going like, nobody's grading me on whether I'm doing a good job as a mom. Like nobody's telling me you're such a good mom. Like you don't get that in different roles, you don't get that in unseen roles, but those are very important roles. And so I I want us to understand like we need encouragement. We should be encouraging one another, but we also have to be able to live on mission and obedience to the Lord, regardless of whether we have it, right? Regardless of whether we're hearing it.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Well, especially the prophets. I mean, if you read the old prophets in the old testament, there was no encouragement at all. That was a rough gig. Yeah. I I I I applaud those men because there was no encouragement at all. But what would you say are tools that we can utilize and say or do?

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Well, some of us have to work at it. Like I said, there's a a guy that I work with who he is just, it is such his gift to encourage other people. He can't it's like he can't not, you know, just over and above flowery. You you always are gonna leave your interactions with him feeling better about yourself and feeling seen. But others of us have to work at it, to your point. And so I would say when it comes to encouragement, practice makes perfect.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Just like with any skill, I feel like encouragement is a muscle that we can develop and we can get stronger with over time. And so if it's a struggle for you, if you if this is something that you want to grow in, you want to be known as somebody that encourages other ladies and encourages the people in your life, I'd say start small and allow it to become automatic over time. Because the more you do it, the more you use that muscle, the stronger it's gonna get. Yeah. But my rule of thumb in how I have become a better encourager is just this. If you think it, say it. Yeah. If you think it, say it. Now, obviously, there are a lot of things I think that I don't say.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

And and we thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

But I'm talking about, you know, the the gauge is is it kind? Is it uplifting? Is it encouraging? Is it affirming? Is it yeah, is it are we calling out the best in people? And so if you think something great about someone, say it out loud. And don't just wait and don't wait to say it. Don't wait for the right time, don't wait for the right moment or format. Like when something comes to my mind, when someone comes to my mind, usually I'm at the point in my life where I trust that that's actually prompting from the Holy Spirit. Yeah. I will text someone in that moment, I will send them a voicemail, I will say it to their face out loud, you know, whatever it is, so that I know that they know that I'm making the effort to encourage them in that moment. Because, and then not to make it generic, you know, when when you're when you're growing this muscle, my husband and I joke because we neither of us are great at this, but we both need it. And so we're trying to grow in this muscle of encouragement. And so sometimes it comes out poorly, but the effort is there. Yeah. And so rather than going like, oh, that was that was great. Great job, babe, make it specific. I really appreciated the way that you said that. I I really appreciated the way that you led that meeting. You led with such clarity and grace, and I felt like everybody left excited, yeah. Rather than, hey, great job leading the meeting. That, you know, so the more specific that we can be, the more that we can tell people what we see in them. And then just making encouragement part of your daily rhythm. Yes. We talk a lot about setting up structures and setting up systems in our life so that we can be the women that we're called to be. And so for me, as a pastor and a church leader, I have time every Monday, the day after Sunday, where I will take probably an hour to follow up with people, whether they're people on my team or people that I missed or I didn't see on Sunday, or people that I had interactions with that I want to follow up with. And so I'm sending texts, I'm making calls, I'm sending emails, encouraging the people that I'm called to shepherd. And I make time for that every week.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

I think that's so important. I I do the same thing. I'm a calendar girl. Everything, if it's not on my calendar, I don't do it just because, again, that's my system of, and it says on my work schedule, take time to celebrate because I too find it where if I don't do it, then I'll I'll pass by that moment. And I don't ever want to not celebrate someone. And so I love the fact that you said, like, create a system, create, create that flow, that sustainable pace that will help you kind of put structure in place to to celebrate people or to connect with people and just give them that word of encouragement.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

Yeah, I think to your point, I think timeliness matters. It's one thing to just sit down and write a note to someone and and you know, share, share overflow of your heart, but it's another thing to to give people encouragement in real time. That was something when when I was leading our women's ministry and we would have these these big events the very next morning after an event, I would personally text everyone on my team or everyone that contributed, not only show them gratitude, but kind of just call out something that I saw them do, you know, and that wanted to just give them kudos and encourage them. Um and I think timeliness and just making people feel seen is one of the best gifts that we can give as we're trying to live on mission. So yeah, I would encourage our friends as you grow in encouragement that practice makes perfect. And if you think it, say it because you never know what's on the other side of your words that can really help somebody keep going.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Yeah, and sometimes, like you said, it's that that jolt to help someone stay faithful in running their race at a sustainable pace and not burning out because we feel unseen. And so I I love that you mentioned the practicality of it of making it timely, doing carving out your your schedule to actually do and say it and make it really personal to that person to make it impactful. I think that's wildly important. And I think that if you're listening today, take a moment and consider who who can I celebrate, who can I encourage, who's that one person that maybe doesn't get accolades all the time, but you see them working in the background? Take the time to to do exactly what you're you're teaching us to do is put in the reps to show encouragement. And I think that's a wonderful thing, Ashley. So thank you so much for for sharing your journey of doing it and cheering other people on. And I think that's so important because we're all trying to run our race at a sustainable pace. And if I could have a big glittery sign for you while you run your first race, I will, I will do it.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

It won't be happening anytime soon, friend. But there is, you're right, there's there's joy in the journey, and I think there's joy that we get to share as well when we're on the other side of the encouragement. Yeah, it's it goes both ways, it does.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

And so if this has helped you today, I want you to encourage someone else. I see what you did. I know, encourage someone else to take a listen to Team Not Tired, join the team, see and share or write a review because the more people that review it, more people get to find us. And ultimately, I don't know about you, but I'm having a great time being on this team. It's my favorite so far. And so if it is yours, show us some love, share the episode, and we will see you on the first and third Tuesday of what we like to call TNT Tuesday of every month.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

We're so glad you're here.