Team Not Tired
Team Not Tired is a podcast and community for busy Christian women who are ready to live their lives as ministry—without losing themselves in the process. Here, burnout is not a badge of honor. Together, we discover a better way: one fueled by grace, purpose, and sustainable rhythms that honor God and who He’s called us to be.
Team Not Tired
When Tired Becomes Your Name
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When did tired stop being something you feel and start becoming who you are? This week, we’re talking about the labels we wear and what changes when our identity is rooted in Jesus instead.
The burden is real, and yet our identity and where we find identity doesn't always have to be rooted into this like label.
SPEAKER_00Hey team, welcome back to another episode of Team Not Tired. I'm Ashley Earwood. And I'm Sharine Crawford. And we are here today to support you on your journey as busy Christian women. We love talking together. We love talking to you and hearing just what you're going through and what you're walking in and what you're carrying. And so today, this topic actually came in from one of our listeners. And I'm really excited, Shireen, for you to lead the conversation today. I believe you told me today's episode is When Tired Becomes Your Name.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00Explain.
SPEAKER_02Well, it's a very interesting thing because you know, this came from a listener, and and we get good feedback, and we get a lot of feedback at times, depending on the episode and whatnot. And so it's just just want to encourage you guys that we actively listen and take it. And this did come from a listener, and something that they said is, and I want to quote, something can be hard and make you tired without it becoming a badge of honor. And I thought that was really interesting. And it made me pause because how oftentimes do we wear tired like a badge of honor? But I think it goes beyond that and it becomes our identity.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Of like, I'm a tired mom. I'm just tired. And we we wear this badge of honor, and it it's really something that we've obviously are very passionate about, that we we have ongoing conversations. But my my biggest thing is like asking the question when does what we're going through become who we believe we are? And that as I've been like marinating on this and this this identity topic, and it's so interesting because so many, so many things can go after our identity, right? Especially as women, is like, man, how how do we get stuck? How do we get stuck with those labels or identities that just kind of stick to us? And then we're like, well, that's just who I am. Right. That's just who I am. That's my Enneagram, or whatever latest Christian self-help, really, it is for that moment, or or the very fact of like your hard experience or season leads you to seek understanding and belonging in that hard season. Somehow we like attach ourselves to that. And I I I wanna like really go through this because you know, our girls are adopted, and it's I think we have a beautiful adoption story. And obviously, my path to motherhood has been very different than than most. Sure. And it's interesting when, you know, you're just having a conversation with someone, and and they're like, Oh, where's your kid? And I was like, Oh, that one. And I just like point them out, and obviously it's like the matching game is like, hold on, like think, think, think, think. And you see like them processing things, and then they, you know, Blake is a very active father, and so they know who Blake is, and so they're like, Oh, okay, he looks like this, and you look like this, and they look like this, and they're like, Oh, you're an adopted mom. And I was like, No, I'm their mom. But I don't like go out and be like, oh, hi, I I'm an adopted mom, or my oh, my kids are adopted, and like these are my adopted kids. Like, I don't necessarily put that identity on myself or my kids. Right. And yet I hear, because we talk to a lot of women, we deal with a lot of, you know, teen even teens and stuff like that. And it's like, oh, I'm just a tired mom, or I'm the strong one, or I'm a people pleaser, or I'm the oldest daughter. You know, you see those see those reels, and it's like, you know, you see that, or like, oh, I'm just bossy. And like you see, these women take on these different labels of identity, and then they make it their whole personality. And I I find it really interesting because we do try to, for a lack of a better way of empathizing with someone, we just put them into this box and and that becomes your full-fledged identity. And I never go around and say, like, oh yeah, I'm an adopted mom, and like, no, I'm a mom. Right.
SPEAKER_00I think that's a really, really great point, Shereen. And and this could be a tricky conversation and actually step on some toes, but I think it's worth having because to your point, a lot of times that reach for community or that reach for just being understood, not feeling isolated in your circumstances is not a bad thing. Correct. Right. Like you think about homeschool groups or you know, recovery groups, right? Right. If you were an addict, or you know, if you're a special needs mom, like you need support, but there's a difference in building some community around a circumstance and then allowing a circumstance to your point to either become an excuse or to allow you to almost carry a like a victim mentality. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And it's a it's a fine needle to thread, that's for sure. Because when I do speak to other parents that happen to have adopted kids, there are they're different things that we can identify and empathize as parents that maybe like maybe you and your husband might not fully understand. Sure. And yet I shouldn't just isolate or ice you out because you don't understand or you don't have, you know, an understanding of how this works, or you know, like even the very fact that we do walk through a health journey and it is very much our our everyday, and yet it's not part of her identity. Right. We are very, very clear in how we talk about her and and Jada and how she's doing and all of those things, and yet we're not like, oh, this is my sick kid.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like that's terrible. You guys have done an incredible job of not letting that journey define your family, define your community, define how you talk about your daughter. I I to that point, I just saw something online this week where somebody had written from the point of view of a churchgoer. And they were talking about how they they were lamenting that because their pastor was married and with children, that he couldn't actually understand and speak to their circumstances of like being single or being without kids or this and that. And yes, on the surface, I completely understand that. But I think it speaks to a larger issue of this cultural thing that's creeping in where we go, well, if you can't understand every aspect of what I've lived and what my truth is and what my circumstances are, then you can't possibly speak into my life. Right. How that's ridiculous. Yeah. Like how ridiculous. Like I can't learn from you because you haven't lived my experience. Correct. Like it, it it's one of those things too, because to the eye rolls.
SPEAKER_02Sorry. This this is not a rally, Ashley. This is not a rally episode. But I I will say, you know, um, I mean, our family does stick out, and that would be silly to say that it doesn't. Our family makeup is different and it it's beautiful and unique, and yet I can learn parenting advice from you, and vice versa, and I can share my experience with adopted families, and I think it's just one of those things of like the burden is real, and yet our identity and where we find identity doesn't always have to be rooted into this like label. Like, God is so good in his goodness of how how wide he has developed things and how he made things and how he created things, and and and just keeping it in line with you know being ti a tired mom, because I know that you know we have a lot of moms listening, but just looking at some some statistics is like 40%, 47% of mothers find parenting most stressful. Like, yeah, sure. That that is true, and oftentimes they find it like, and it also goes on to say like it gets higher as your kids get older, the percentage of like how stressful it gets.
SPEAKER_00And I feel that three three teenagers right now. I feel that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I oh yeah, yeah, we're on the on the verge, we're on the edge here.
SPEAKER_00I can't corroborate that statistic.
SPEAKER_02And yet, you don't go around saying like, oh, I'm a I'm a tired, stressed out mom. Hi, nice to meet you. Like the burden is real. The the statistics are real, and and yet I want to ask our our our followers, like, does that label make it harder to ask for help? Do you want your kids to describe you to others as, oh, this is my tired mom? Like, I don't know about you, but like, no, no. Most certainly do I not want, I don't, I don't want that. But at the same time, like, how how do we bring that to Jesus and hand it over to him and know that hey, like these struggles and hardship is difficult, and yet you you uniquely made me different, and yet my identity, your identity, all goes back or should go back to our identity in Jesus Christ. Right. Yeah, the hard things don't define us. And and I always want to take us to the Bible, and it says in Psalms 13, uh, like, you know, we we can go and tell God the truth about about our hurts, right? And one of the things in Matthew, and everyone I feel like knows this verse, but I think it's just worth covering, and it's Matthew 11, 28, 30, and it's like, Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. The struggle might be real, and yet when we're yoked up with Christ, everything becomes easier. It doesn't mean that it's oh, okay, I don't have to do anything. You have to be actively yoked with Christ. And then in Romans 8 says Romans 8, 15, 6 through 16, we are God's children. Our worth doesn't depend on how much we carry. We are his kids. And I I want us to really, and I get really passionate about this because I don't want my kids to be defined or identified by their trauma because, oh well, they were in foster care and like all this stuff, like get out of my face. Like, that's when I start to get that's the rally, you know, yeah, rally sharing episode in me. But I don't call them by that. And yet, that is something that they're gonna have to carry. And so I I want us to really understand of like what would change if belonging to Jesus shaped how we see ourselves and what we expect of ourselves.
SPEAKER_00That's really good because he makes all things new. And so we're not defined by our circumstances. We're when we say yes to Jesus, it means that we're constantly being transformed. Yeah. We have the power to renew our mind, right, through Holy Spirit. And so I think that's really beautiful to just be reminded of today that the things that you might be carrying or the things that you have felt have defined you and made you who you are along the way, that it doesn't have to be. Right. You can live different, you can live transformed, you can live free and not make tired or whatever you fill in the blank your name. Right.
SPEAKER_02And I think that's where like how do we go from stuck to freedom through Jesus Christ in in our newfound identity? If you do call Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior, then you can and should be transformed. And so I want to like invite us to kind of you know fill in the blank here. I have some questions. Okay, the label I keep wearing is think about it. Like, what is the label that you keep wearing? The second thing is it makes me feel like I have a blank. Because I believe because I believe in Jesus this week, I can like shifting it and saying, okay, like I'm not I'm not the tail, I'm the head. When Jesus calls me, he calls me from a place of victory. When he calls me, he also gives me mercy and goodness to follow me all the rest of my days. When I feel inadequate, like I know that he made me and God does not make mistakes. Like I could go on and on and on because so quickly our identity can can be attacked, and especially in our minds, because sometimes we're just so caught up in our own mindset of all of these things. And I think, especially when we're pressed with a hard season, but like you deserve to recognize and know what God says about you and your identity. And I think that's why I really go through the the lineup in my own head of going to God's scripture and saying, like, no, I I am grafted into the family of God. Like I am yoked up with Him, like I can consider Him and consider all things through Jesus Christ, and I can find joy in, you know, like I can go on and on. And so I think if we find ourselves stuck going to God's scripture and and declaring it over you. And if you can't do it, then you better call one of your friends and say, I'm struggling with my identity and I feel like a really bad mom. Or I'm struggling with mom guilt, or I'm whatever it might be, and knowing that your hard season, you can invite Jesus into that and keep writing your story with him.
SPEAKER_00That's so beautiful. I think uh your last encouragement to us, because I think if if anyone were to call me that I know and even remotely care about and be like, I feel like a bad mom, I would immediately be like, that is not true. That is a lie from the enemy. I'm gonna tell you who you are. Yeah, you know, and like everybody needs at least one friend in in their life like that, because we get the opportunity to speak truth over lies. Yeah. And and as believers, I would encourage you to be that friend for someone. Don't sit in the stink and don't wallow with your friend thinking that empathizing is helping. It's not. What helps is when we speak truth and call out lies. And so I just I just continue to see like the enemy loves nothing more than to attack women over identity. He's been doing it from the beginning. Literally. And I'm tired of it. Wait, this isn't a radio. I mean, my bad. Goodness, that was such a great encouragement, Shereen. I just hope that ladies listening today can be reminded that your circumstances don't dictate who you are in Christ. And just to be reminded today that you can declare scripture, you can declare truth over who you are and who he says you are, and you can live a different, renewed, transformed life when you live through and by Jesus. So, friends, be encouraged today. Do not allow tired to become your name, but you can be part of Team Not Tired. That's right. We'll see you next time.